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December 27, 2001 STEEL MELTS! FRUITCAKE UNHARMED! TALE OF A 9-11 MIRACLE   ... READ MORE. December 16, 2001 PISSED FROSTY CLUBS PEE BOY TO DEATH!   ... READ MORE. December 9, 2001 SATANIC WITCHES BURNING MAD! WIMPY WICCANS RUINING THEIR DIABOLIC IMAGE!   ... READ MORE. December 3, 2001 FABULOUS BABY!!! AUSTIN GETS BERT! OSAMA NEXT!  ... READ MORE. November 26, 2001 EXPANDING UNIVERSE CRISIS! "SHIFTING STARS THREATEN FRAGILE CONSTELLATIONS!" WARNS ASTRO-CONSERVATIONIST IN DEMAND FOR U.N. INTERVENTION ZODIAC DOOMED?!   ... READ MORE. November 19, 2001 THANKSGIVING TRAGEDY!!! PETA EXTREMISTS FREE HORMONE ENHANCED SUPER TURKEYS FROM HOMELESS FOOD BANK! BIG BIRDS' DEATH RAGE vs. SHELTER RESIDENTS!   ... READ MORE. November 12, 2001 AMERICA'S OLDEST VET, 118 -- BUMLEG, BLIND, BROKE:  "I'M THE LUCKIEST MAN IN THE WORLD!" ... READ MORE. November 5, 2001 FORGED IN HELL! BERT'S PACT WITH EVIL! EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW FROM OSAMA'S CAVE!   ...READ MORE. October 29, 2001 WORLD'S HUGEST FLAG!!! WEEKLY UNIVERSE PROULDY UNFURLS THE "SPACE FLAG!"(TM) NASA CONFIRMS: "OLD GLORY" SO HUGE -- SEEN AT OTHER END OF UNIVERSE!!!  ... READ MORE. October 22, 2001 ART BELL RECRUITS PSYCHIC ARMY... TO HEAL RUSH! BELL LISTENERS SEND HEALING ENERGY RAYS TO CURE RUSH'S DEAFNESS!   ... READ MORE. October 15, 2001 FROM THE INJUSTICE FILES ... LAWYER SUES SELF -- COLLECTS MILLIONS! -- AND YOU PAY FOR IT!  ... READ MORE. October 8, 2001 THE STARTLING FACTS ABOUT COLUMBUS!   * BOY PIRATE!   * JEWISH VIKING!   * SUPERNATURAL POWERS!    ... READ MORE. October 1, 2001 IT'S LOOK -- BUT DON'T TOUCH!!! TERRORISTS TO SPEND ETERNITY WITH 10,000 ETERNAL VIRGINS -- AS CHASTITY BIKINIS WON'T COME OFF!!!  ...READ MORE.

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