HOMELESS
BLACK MAN SPOTTED AT STARBUCKS -- IN THE NUDE!
by Mimi
Brickmeyer, staff writer [October 4, 2018]
[WeeklyUniverse.com]
A naked black
man was seen lounging outside the
Starbucks at the corner of Wilshire Blvd. and 26th Street in
Santa Monica, California, at around 10:10 a.m. on the morning of
Thursday, October 4th, 2018.
Panicked
patrons inside the java joint called the attention of baristas to the
Nubian nudist. Two baristas exited the high end coffee house to
confront the au natural African, who was relaxing on a
wrought iron chair (with tasteful antique finish) in the sidewalk
seating area. Told he must depart or else police would be notified,
the exposed gentleman left without incident.
 From
the cool comfort of the air-conditioned
café's earth-toned safe space,
coffee aficionados saw the nude's penis and balls dangling from
between his legs as he left. However, his manhood was usually obscured
by his tight derriere, which he occasionally jiggled for delighted
clientele.
Fans began
photographing and recording him from within the safety of
Starbuck's soothing, womb-like atmosphere. A male barista pleaded
with patrons not to phone the police, as the potentially explosive
situation had been resolved in a satisfactory and peaceful manner.
Outside, a
female barista was spraying the naked man's now empty chair with a
cleaning substance, her other hand armed with paper towels.
It is
unconfirmed whether the cleaner was of an "industrial strength" or
merely "regular strength" variety.
Yet despite his departure, the bare-skinned
brother didn't travel far. He was last seen standing on the northeast
corner of Wilshire and 26th Street (across from
Starbucks on the northwest corner), exhibiting his ample assets to
passing motorists.
Whether he was
on his way to work, or was enjoying his day off, remained unconfirmed
at press time.
Mimi Brickmeyer is a Los Angeles based tabloid reporter specializing in celebrities and popular culture. Read about her adventures in Hollywood Witches! |
|
