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by Vanessa Cortez, staff writer. [January 2, 2008]




[]  Tragic deaths and happy births, unemployment and lotto wins, earthquakes and storms, wars and rumors of wars -- those are some of the amazing events in store for planet Earth in 2008, as predicted by the Weekly Universe's astonishing Mystic Gray Buddha[TM]!

As 2007 drew to a close, the editors of the Weekly Universe convened a top Blue Ribbon Panel of one thousand of the world's leading psychics.

After meditating on the miraculous miracle symbols symbolized by the Mystic Gray Buddha[TM], the psychic panel released these astounding predictions for 2008:


     * Millions of people will die in 2008! 

     * Even more tragically, some of these deaths will be of celebrities! Some of them fairly young. The glamorous worlds of film, TV, music, sports, literature, and politics will all suffer the loss of famous figures over the course of 2008.

     * There will be fires! Homes will be lost. Some fires will even claim human life.

    * There will be earthquakes! Maybe some big ones, but definitely many small ones. Amazingly, some of these earthquakes will be so small, you won't even be able to feel them.

     * There will be wars and rumors of wars! Astonishingly, it won't matter which person or political party is elected to power, or who's overthrown, or who seizes power, or however many peace marches there are. There will be wars in 2008.

     * There will be drownings, and highway deaths, and suicides, and even murder! Shockingly, more than one person on Earth will be murdered in 2008. More than five, even.

     * Millions of people will lose their jobs in 2008! And there will be bankruptcies and mortgage foreclosures too.

     * But the economic outlook is not entirely bleak for 2008. Millions of people will find jobs in 2008! Millions more will be promoted.

    * If you're thinking of playing the lotto, 2008 might be your lucky year -- because some people will definitely win the lotto in 2008!

     * Likewise, while death will darken 2008, the picture is not entirely bleak. Millions of babies will be born in 2008! So if you've been trying to have a baby, 2008 might be your lucky year.

     * Amazingly, every one of these predictions will happen to all twelve signs of the Zodiac! It won't matter whether you're a Libra or Leo, a Virgo or Sagittarius -- all signs will suffer deaths and job losses, and be gladdened by births and lotto wins.

    * Millions of people will pay for psychic advice in 2008! They will buy books written by psychics, or call psychic phone hotlines, or visit psychics in their home offices.

    * Finally, and most astonishingly of all, every single person who pays for psychic advice in 2008 will be ripped off!


These are the Mystic Gray Buddha[TM]'s predictions for 2008. They come with a full, money-back guarantee: If even one of these astonishing predictions do not come true, the will give you a full refund of everything you paid the for these predictions.

Copyright 2008 by


Vanessa Cortez is a Los Angeles based tabloid reporter who investigates the occult underbelly of the entertainment industry. Read more about her journalism in Hollywood Witches.
Want to feel the miraculous healing vibrations of the Mystic Gray Buddha?  Visit our Mystic Gray Buddha store for official, licensed merchandise!

Also read our report on phone psychics, how you can be psychic, how to tell if your psychic is phony, a man who was scammed by his psychic, and a report on a tabloid reporter turned "psychic".


"Weekly Universe" and "" and "Mystic Gray Buddha" trademarks are currently unregistered, but pending registration upon need for protection against improper use. The idea of marketing these terms as a commodity is a protected idea under the Lanham Act. 15 U.S.C. s 1114(1) (1994) (defining a trademark infringement claim when the plaintiff has a registered mark); 15 U.S.C. s 1125(a) (1994) (defining an action for unfair competition in the context of trademark infringement when the plaintiff holds an unregistered mark). All articles copyright the author or